by CLINT YOUNTS
Finally, the political conventions are over, and I can get back to viewing some intelligent programming instead of watching Honey Boo-Boo, Cajuns shootin’ gators, and a Kentucky hillbilly snatchin’ possums with his bare hands. Now, some folks who don’t know me too well might wonder why I didn’t watch the conventions. Well, despite being raised in a Republican household and being kin to die-hard Democrats, I don’t consider myself a member of either party. I don’t call myself an Independent, and I’d rather attend a keg party than a Tea Party.
Just because my column runs on the Opinion page of this here newspaper along with editorials and political columns doesn’t mean I’m opinionated when it comes to politics. Oh sure, I have opinions of certain politicians, but I don’t share them among my friends and you readers. If I want to spread manure, it’ll be in Maw’s flower garden. It’s a shame that others don’t share my practice of keeping opinions to themselves. Lots of folks feel they have to fuss and moan about the way certain government officials (I refuse to call them “leaders”) are running this country. Others think Americans are doing better with our current administration. For the past two weeks, there has been a mess of bloated windbags speaking on primetime TV giving us their opinions, and if I weren’t quick enough with my remote, I had to suffer through a couple of seconds of windblown caca del toro.
The only speech I listened to from either convention was the stand-up routine by Clint Eastwood. Why? Because it was Clint Eastwood. Duh! I have seen every film he ever made, and I will continue watching his movies and reruns of “Rawhide” until my retinas are burnt to a crisp. The man is a legend and a personal hero of mine. Did I agree with his statements? If I were to tell you, wouldn’t that be considered as giving you my opinion? Did I think he was funny? I laughed out loud at times, but I wish he had practiced his lines a bit more.
I do wonder why the Democrats asked Bill Clinton to speak. Just because the GOP convention had a comedy routine doesn’t mean the Democratic Party had to put a clown on stage. Oh, I’ll give you my opinion of Slick Willie if you really want it, but I suspect you already know what I think of him. Bill spoke that if I want a “country of shared prosperity,” I should vote for Obama and Biden.Obama’s been in office for four years and I haven’t gotten a whiff of any prosperity. How much longer do I have to wait before I get my share of that wealth?
For the past year, I’ve had to endure listening to several candidates’ speeches and watched several debates. I’ve seen countless political ads crammed in my favorite TV shows. Most of these candidates are gone now, and we are down to a select few. What have I learned from watching all these politicians, past and present? Not a whole lot, but I have drawn one conclusion: Since light travels faster than sound, a political candidate may appear bright until they speak.
Do I think Mitt can do any better at fixing the economy? Not especially. Do I believe he’d be a better leader? I don’t know. Do I believe he will do what he says he’ll do? Not at all. I stopped believing in campaign promises about the time I stopped believing Sasquatch existed in the Piney Woods. I trust presidential candidates as much as I trust a used-car dealer. I reckon I lost faith in our presidents after Nixon lied to us about not being a crook, and later listening to President Clinton lie to America about his sordid affairs didn’t help me regain much faith.
We also have candidates from the Libertarian and Constitution parties. I haven’t had a chance to hear these two guys speak, but I don’t expect either will get my support. I am more likely to vote for Roseanne Barr, who is our Peace and Freedom Party candidate. She tried to join the Green Party but switched after learning the Green Party was not actually a reunion of pot smoking hippies.
So, who will I vote for in November? I haven’t a clue. I believe it’s my civic duty to vote for someone, but I won’t be thrilled at helping either candidate win the election. I just can’t decide on who’ll get my vote. I once was indecisive, but now I’m just not sure. I’ll probably vote for the candidate whose TV ads are less annoying, or the candidate whose recorded voice doesn’t call my house in the middle of an episode of “Rawhide.” One day, maybe before I get locked away in some “convalescent home,”we will elect a leader to represent the government of the people, by the people, for the people. Until then, pray for the best.
Clint Younts is only opinionated about the breed of cattle that he raises – them being “mixed.”