Counselor’s Corner
by CHRIS J. BROWN
Greetings, and I hope this finds you with good experiences from Valentine’s Day. I recently had a homework assignment from my son’s teacher which caused me to pause. My wife and I were to write a Valentine’s Day card to our son to be opened during the class party. She suggested that we write how special and valued he is.
Making the card was rather fun, but when it came time to write it I had to pause … how do I express my deep love for this fine young man, his talents and gifts, his uniqueness, and special attributes? Tougher still is how to express this to a seven year old in words that make sense to him? How does a seven year old understand love? What can you say to a seven year old boy that conveys that he is special? All of this made me reflect and think about expressing love and the fact that the way we express love may not always make sense to the people we love.
If my son feels love it’s going to have something to do with him being a great soccer player, outstanding on his video game, or doing neat tricks on his bike – those are the attributes that his language would hear and understand. It reminded me of a concept covered in various formats and milieus, but it basically comes down to the idea that all people [kids too] have “love languages.” It takes effort to express love to others in the language that makes sense to them because we are more likely to express love in our own language.
Take a minute this month and look at significant relationships in your life and think about how you express love to them. Are your expressions of love based on the language of the recipient or the sender? Is it words? Acts of service? Affection? Time together? Giving a gift? Everyone is different. Take the time to express your love in a way that will be heard and understood and I think you will see some people light up as they experience one of the truest gifts for humans – to feel loved.
If you want to read more on love languages and related principals check out one of these books: The Five Love Languages, The Two Sides of Love, or His Needs Her Needs.
