Kyle City Limits
by BRENDA STEWART

One pleasure I get out of life, regardless of where I am in the world, is scanning the daily papers each morning. Being a cynic by nature, dawn has always afforded me the brief opportunity to give each day a new chance. I’ve wept. I’ve laughed out loud reading Ken Herman. I’ve disgustedly tossed the whole lot in the recycling bin and flopped face first back into bed, hoping for a better day tomorrow. So, it actually didn’t even cause a hiccup when I read about the Green Party of Texas receiving a $200,000 windfall and double the number of petition signatures needed to put them on the November ballot. Good, I thought, those guys have busted ass and certainly Texas needs diversity in its campaigns. Bring on the Libertarians as well. All these folks have valid points and keep us in check. Texas’ political table is large and there is ample room for us all.

Then I tried to sleep on it. Visions of the 2008 Kinky-and-CarolKeetonStrayhornRylander-Show danced in my head and ushered in the nightmare of those egotistical charmers torpedoing the last gubernatorial election. It struck me in the middle of the night and I sat bolt up-right, in a cold sweat. Oh. My. God. What cloaked connivers are trying to fracture the Democratic vote in the November election?

My heart sank when it came to light that the Green Party was, in all probability, falling prey to the shadowy underbelly of the infamous secret money machine of Texas politics. Good god, is nothing sacred? I’ve worked on plenty of grassroots campaigns and the stress-relieving celebration upon receiving a fat donation does wonders for the campaign’s morale and offers a public affirmation to a private conviction. Although Texas law clearly states that it is illegal for a corporation to bankroll a petition drive, the Green Party is claiming the petitions were a “gift” and is protesting indignantly the notion that they are being used as pawns by cowardly out-of state-financiers trying to influence the upcoming November election. So, it is not without trepidation that I must contend: If it seems too good to be true…

This is what I’ve gleaned, but I will paraphrase because there is the rogue possibility that your head will begin to spin and you will run screaming into the woods (I’m actually tethered to this desk chair as I write). Seems a Missouri-based non-profit called “Take Initiative America” paid a company in Illinois called “Free and Equal, Inc.” to collect signatures from registered voters in Texas who had not voted in the last primary. Consequently, the Green Party of Texas was bestowed an estimated $200,000 cash and petitions with 92,000 voter signatures which enabled them to miraculously secure a place on the November ballot.

You still with me?  Seems Republican consultant Tim Moody of Arizona, who contracted the group “Take Initiative America” to secure the current signatures, also worked with Rick Perry’s top political advisor, Dave Carney, and the group “Choices for America” in 2004, to splinter the Democratic vote by securing signatures which miraculously put Independent Ralph Nadar on that ballot. Ah, but there’s more: Both of these benevolent shell groups are registered to a Missouri Republican named Charles Hurth III (who once grabbed headlines when he was sued for biting a woman on the butt in a bar, but I digress) who inexplicably is said to have no ties to Texas politics or the Green Party. I’m actually hoping that this one comes back and bites him in the butt.

Unfortunately for us all, this isn’t just some conspiracy theory. It was an unoriginal political strategy that, had it been executed accurately, would have flown under our radar. I can understand why Perry and his cronies are in such a panic that they feel the need to attempt to buy this election. And the political rise of the Green Party could have been legitimate. Those guys work tirelessly for an absolutely altruistic cause which benefits us all. They are worthy of respect and deserve every break that can be afforded them. I can see why people support them. Hell, I support them – with time, and words and twenty-five dollar checks. But when a whopping 200 thou crosses your desk, you’d think it would make you stop and wonder. And from my southern roots, every fiber in my being would scream the simple question: To whom do I write the dang thank you note?

brenda@haysfreepress.com