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Keep your dogs off the grass

It seems like there’s a lot of talk these days about legalizing marijuana. In a few states, recreational use of pot is now legal while in many states, it’s only used for medical treatments of certain maladies. Now, I am not gonna give y’all my opinion on legalized marijuana. I personally don’t care if some Texas toker is lighting up a doobie as long as it’s not around me. If I smell grass burning, I’m grabbing my garden hose.

Not only are red-eyed Americans puffing on skunk weed, but recently, marijuana has been used to treat certain illnesses in dogs. Pot has been found beneficial in treating seizures and severe arthritis in some dogs. It is also found to help ease pain in canine cancer patients. The verdict is still out if marijuana actually helps dogs as reported by some vets who practice holistic medicine. I just wonder how they train a dog to hold a roach clip.

As y’all all know, anytime a new drug hits the market, ads appear on TV and, in these ads, there is a list of potential side-effects from that drug. I doubt you’ll ever see any commercial promoting marijuana for dogs, so y’all who do treat ol’ Bullet for seizures with a giggle stick need to know the side effects of pot.

Since I have over 20 years of experience in the veterinary field, who’s better to provide this critical information to you dog owners? So, here is my list of 10 Signs Your Dog is a Pothead:

1. Fido becomes very inactive, refusing to go on walks or play catch. He’d rather just lie on the couch with a bag of Cheetos.

2. Your dog no longer gets hyper hearing the word “squirrel” but his ears pop up like a Toaster Strudel when he hears “Mary Jane”.

3. You find Spot staring at the screensaver on your computer all day long.

4. Instead of a normal bark, a dog on marijuana tends to softly utter “Bow wow, dude!”

5. Your dog might be a pothead if he will sit on the couch and watch all of “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” with you.

6. If ol’ Duke stops chasing the neighbor’s cat when he hears the ice cream truck, he’s high on ganja.

7. You come home from work to find your dog playing a Bob Marley song on your bongo drums.

8. A neutered dog suddenly goes crazy looking for his missing testicles.

9. Instead of going up to a strange dog and sniffing its butt, Rover on reefer tends to run and hide, scared that strange mutt is the drug dog.

10. Lassie has lost interest in her chew toys but constantly stares at her owner’s bong and wags her tail.

Now, there are probably other side-effects from using marijuana that aren’t listed here, and maybe a few that are actually harmful. I advise you to consult with your veterinarian before treating for beloved pet with wacky tobacky, and I strongly suggest that you don’t light up a fatty for your seeing-eye dog before heading out for a stroll.

Clint Younts does work for a vet and has probably seen a few of these symptoms. Or, he smelled that wacky tabacky on its owners.

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