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Just like a Rolling Stone…

This anti-Confederacy movement reminds me of a dung beetle. It starts with a little piece of poop and, as he rolls it, it becomes a huge ball of manure. These folks with their drawers all wadded up must think all their problems will be solved by destroying statues of Confederate soldiers and removing other reminders of a war that ended 152 years ago. Like the dung beetle, all they are doing is making a big pile of crap.

We all know what recently happened out in South Carolina, and I won’t give my opinion on what we should do with those inbred, heartless extremists whose cumulative IQ is still lower than a sack of nails. What I will discuss is how ridiculous this anti-Confederacy movement has become over the past few years. If you think you might become offended at what I might say, maybe you should go read something more suited to your intellect, like the funny papers.

This all started a while back when some ignorant, hate-filled kid shot folks in a church. When a photo of this punk showed a Confederate flag in the background, the dung beetle went to work. Confederate flags began to come down, beloved songs of the South were banned from schools, and the ball of manure gets bigger. Now let’s jump to present day.

In the past week, the dung beetle rolled into some fresh poop. Six Flags Over Texas amusement park removed the Confederate flag along with others that historically flew over our great state. In the dead of night, officials at the University of Texas removed statues of Confederate soldiers from campus. Both actions are another attempt to erase a chapter of American history instead of educating young Texans of our past.

Now, let’s get to the utterly ridiculous stuff that was just added to the ball. Out west on the campus of USC, there is now an issue with the school’s mascot or rather the horse he rode up on. Since 1961, the mascot, a Trojan soldier, has ridden a white horse named Traveler at football games. Although there have been several horses in the past 56 years, they’ve all been named Traveler. It’s a tradition, much like Bevo and Reveille. Well, some dung-rolling dodo bird is offended because Traveler was also the name of General Robert E. Lee’s horse. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I recall California supported the north, not the Confederacy. Maybe they don’t teach American History at USC.

Another absurd event occurred this past week that really raised a stink. Big shots at ESPN pulled a sports reporter who was assigned to cover an upcoming football game in Virginia because his last name is Lee. And to add another bit of cow flop to this ball of dung, Mr. Lee is Asian-American. I seriously doubt he’s related to Robert E. Lee.

Okay, if we are serious about erasing everything linked to the Confederacy, then let’s do it right. For starters, let’s ban all Americans from wearing Lee jeans. And grocery stores should stop stocking any pastries from Sara Lee. All episodes of “The Dukes of Hazzard” and merchandise from the popular show should be pulled so nobody gets offended by seeing an orange, souped-up Dodge Charger.

Here in Texas, we should follow the lead of those folks at Six Flags. There are 22 counties in Texas named after famous members of the Confederacy and no telling how many towns. We have Lee County and Jeff Davis County. Stonewall, Texas is named after General Stonewall Jackson, and Lubbock was named after a Confederate colonel. Should we start looking for new names for all these places like we did for certain public schools?

I don’t know about all y’all, but I think the dung beetle has enough crap rolled up. This anti-Confederacy movement needs to end now. The war is over, folks. Oh, by the way, you folks causing all this stink should know that dung beetles eat and live in the mess they’ve created.

Clint Younts has family members who fought on both sides of the Civil War. He still lives on property that has been in the family since the mid-1800s.

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