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No gas shortage at the Crow’s Nest

As I was driving around a few days ago in search of diesel fuel for my tractor, I began to ponder over the validity of certain political figures who said, “There is no gas shortage.” And as I was putting regular gasoline in my truck, I was reading a sign on the pump that read “No Premium Gas”. On my way home, I drove by a convenient store that had its gas pumps taped off like there was a crime scene investigation going on.

I personally think there was a fuel shortage last week, and there still is somewhat of one today. When a major hurricane stops the production and distribution of fuel, and gas stations have nothing but fumes in their tanks, then is there not a gas shortage? According to my fuel gauge on my Ford tractor, I’d say there is. So, to you government officials who told the American public that there is no gas shortage, I must respond by saying bull hockey!

It’s just like going into some beer joint, ordering a cold one, and being told by the bartender that the kegs are all empty. Then he smugly says, “There ain’t no beer shortage. We just ain’t got none.”

Perhaps these government officials who speak with forked tongues just don’t understand the definition of the word “shortage”. Most politicians never experience a shortage of hot air, but maybe they don’t know other forms of shortage. Allow me to give a few examples of what a shortage is.

When that pile of dead limbs you’re burning 35 ft from your house starts to get out of control and you have only a 25 ft garden hose, this is considered a shortage.

Rushing over to the port-a-potties at a chili cook-off and finding every one is occupied, this is a crapper shortage. This may also lead to a shortage of clean drawers.

When you just spent the past four hours doing yard work in the hot sun and you find only one cold beer in the fridge, this is a serious shortage of adult beverages.

Inviting 9 cannibals to a backyard barbecue and discovering you have only 8 hamburger patties can lead to a shortage of body parts.

If the tallest guy on your favorite NBA team is 5’4”, then there may be a shortage of wins due to shortage.

When you try to hurdle a 4 ft barbed wire fence but your crotch only makes it 3’11”, this is a shortage no man wants to encounter.

If you are midway on a trans-Atlantic flight and hear the captain say he miscalculated the fuel requirement and might be a little short on fuel, I’d say you’d have a serious shortage.

When a 6’4” busty gal asks a 5’2” boy to slow dance at the Sadie Hawkins dance, then, well, I reckon this shortage isn’t so bad.

So, Mr. Elected Official, just when is a shortage not a shortage? Isn’t telling the truth and leveling with the public a better option than blowing smoke up our chapped hides? I don’t know about all y’all out there searching for working fuel pumps, but when it comes to believing our politicians these days, I personally have a shortage of trust.

Clint Younts doesn’t have a shortage of opinions. Ever. Ask his wife. She just laughs and walks back inside the house.

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