Turkeys under the goalpost

Well, I made it through another Thanksgiving with no trouble. My belt buckle sits a notch closer to the end of the rawhide, and the cushion of my recliner seems a tad flatter after four straight days of watching football, but other than that, all’s well over here. I even managed to battle the crowds on Black Friday, although shoppers at Tractor Supply are mostly civilized folks. There’s no way in the world you’d catch me at most any other store on Black Friday except the local apothecary for a refill of my snakebite remedy.

Since I had plenty of time on my hands to watch football in between bouts of tryptophan-induced narcolepsy, I observed a recent trend in NFL games that just doesn’t sit well with me, sorta like that third helping of sweet taters that had my GI tract sounding like a Louis Armstrong album all night.

Have y’all seen these utterly ridiculous touchdown celebrations some NFL teams are doing these days? Oh, I’m not talking about spiking the ball or doing the California Quake. Some of these so-called professional football players, a few being college graduates, are gathering in the end zone after a score and acting like complete fools. Let me give y’all a few examples of the sophomoric foolishness these players are doing.

In one game I saw (don’t ask what team because my new IPA heart medicine makes my memory kinda fuzzy), several members of the offense gathered in the end zone immediately after scoring and proceeded to play Leap Frog. No, no, this wasn’t a Pop Warner game but an NFL game with grown men hopping around like a bunch of rabbits in a field of loco weed.

In a different NFL game (again, don’t ask because I was boostering my immunity against a copperhead bite), several players, some who must’ve taken too many hard hits to the head, began a game of Hide & Seek around the goal post. I think the concussion protocol should include checking to see if 22-year-old men are acting like kindergarteners on the playground.

I have seen different teams gather in the end zone with cupped hands with the fool who just scored acting like he’s passing out food or communion to his teammates. On Thanksgiving, I saw this nonsense again, one player dishing out vittles to his fellow cast members. I’ll tell you what; the turkeys roasting in our smoker had higher IQs than those in the end zone.

What I don’t quite understand is these pro football players acting like little boys are the same guys who kneel during the National Anthem, demanding respect. How can you earn respect when you are acting like a bunch of numbskulls? And if the NFL or team owners request the players to behave in a mature and socially acceptable manner, the overpaid and undereducated athletes pitch a conniption fit. In the past, many touchdown celebrations drew penalty flags. The players’ union fussed up a storm, and now they get to act like monkeys on meth.

I know these show-offs are a small percentage of the players in the league, but with all the negative publicity and internal feuding the NFL has had this year, you’d think they’d put a stop to the asinine acts going on in the end zone. I know I’ve seen enough. I’m glad the Dallas Cowboys aren’t showboating after scoring a touchdown, but then, lately they haven’t had many opportunities to celebrate, have they?

Clint Younts wouldn’t be caught dead doing any of these shenanigans, unless it was dancing at his daughters’ weddings. They were the ones embarrassed then.


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