Crossing the street on foot the other day, a terrible thought crossed my mind.

It was a vision, actually: of my offspring broiling in a remote tent city under the blazing Southwest sun at the behest of Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

You see, I was committing a crime at the time – jaywalking.

Sure, it’s just a Class A traffic infraction, but I’d better stop it anyway. Based on the “zero tolerance” policy modeled by the Trump administration, one day my family could be r...