Tea for Texas

If you ask me, President Trump should stop messing around with North Korea and Russia, put a hold on all his tariffs, and concentrate on an international crisis that has fallen through the butt-cracks of his meandering agendas. Oh, this problem began several years ago, and it has been steadily creeping up like a pair of drawers purchased at a garage sale. I reckon this illicit act is not as problematic as a North Korean nut-job who likes to blow stuff up, but I think it should be revealed to the unaware American citizens.

No network news has even touched on this sensitive issue. Perhaps they too are uninformed. Well, nothing gets by this curmudgeon’s bloodshot eyes. I recently became aware of something that affects most Americans and most certainly the British, and I was astonished our government and the Queen herself haven’t done something to end this scandalous activity over in Asia.

What might I be crowing about? Well, I’ll tell ya! Have y’all seen what a glass of iced tea costs these days? It’s plumb ridiculous! A glass of tea at a diner might run $1.50, and at fancy restaurants like Applebee’s and Chili’s, it might get as high as two bucks. Two dollars for a glass of tea is highway robbery. Tea is nothing but water with crumpled up, dried out leaves mixed in. We’re not talking about a fine box wine or an exquisite beer in a longneck bottle. It’s dadgum tea.

I recall back when my clothes were still in style, a big glass of tea cost a quarter. And of course, refills were always free. Here in the south, everybody drank tea back then. Sodas cost more and nobody wanted to wash down fried catfish with a Coke.

So, you might be wondering what all my fuss about some international wrongdoing is. Okay, I’ll walk you through this. Where does tea come from? China, right? We’ve all heard that saying “All the tea in China”, so that’s gotta be where we get our tea. And over the past decade or so, while we’re fussin’ about Iraq and Syria, closely watching Putin and Kim Jong-un, and fighting among ourselves, China has quietly raised the price of tea to an astronomical amount.

Have y’all wondered how China has become so powerful? It’s because of all the tea that’s sipped over in England and guzzled down here in the south. You know how all the drug addicts here in the States have contributed to the making of billionaires in Central and South America. Well, we tea drinkers have made some folks over in China mighty rich.

Now, I know Mr. Trump has his hands full with other stuff, so I won’t start any protest or create a movement, but I won’t take this foreign meddling into our dining options lying down. As a red-blooded American, I plan to boycott all the tea from China and drink only tea that is grown here in the good ol’ US of A. I’m not real sure who grows tea over here. I understand a few states sell a special tea that is quite relaxing, but I haven’t seen any on the shelves at HEB.

Yep, as a proud American, I will stop drinking tea as long as prices are so high. As much as I like a big glass of sweet tea with my barbecue, I may just have to switch to a different kind of brew, perhaps one made here in the Lone Star State.

When Clint can’t have his tea, you can bet he is quite willing to substitute a Lone Star Beer. Be that as it may …


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