No ban on my Christmas Carols

have heard that several radio stations across the country have deleted the Christmas song, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” from their playlist after members of the #Me Too movement claim the song is inappropriate. At first, I thought this was ridiculous until I read the lyrics to the song. Sure enough, the song hints that a young female is drinking a potentially spiked beverage with some guy on a cold night, and I kinda agree that this song may not be appropriate for Christmas music. I, too have removed it from my playlist on Spotify, not because of the lyrics but because I simply don’t like the song that much. I am also a little afraid other activist groups may also try to get more beloved Christmas carols banned.

With all the talk about bullying these days, should we be allowing our children to listen to “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer”? Rudolph was a victim of bullying by other reindeer who laughed and called him names and never let poor Rudolph join in their games. I wonder if Santa and his elves were aware of this bullying?

Do you suppose all those inbred neo-Nazi white supremacists love hearing “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas”? Isn’t it ironic that “White Christmas” was written by Irving Berlin? Please tell me Bing Crosby wasn’t a skinhead. 

I have heard that “The Christmas Song” has been banned at nudist camps because it creates anxiety in men when hearing “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire”. And, guys, you’d better protect those Yule logs, too when making S’mores.

I’m waiting to see if the Surgeon General steps up and requests certain Christmas carols to be banned from the airways. With childhood obesity being a huge issue these days, I foresee Dolly Parton’s “Hard Candy Christmas” and George Strait’s “Christmas Cookies” getting the boot.

I’m a little suspicious of Willie Nelson singing “Pretty Paper”. I wonder if he agreed to record the song without knowing it was about wrapping paper on Christmas presents. I’m thinking Willie thought the song was about another type of paper that he’s rather fond of rolling.

I like the Christmas songs “Santa Looked a lot Like Daddy” and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”, but don’t these songs promote infidelity? Are we saying it is proper conduct for a mother to kiss any strange man who happens to slide down the chimney on Christmas Eve? I think not.

I am a bit surprised that some anti-gay group hasn’t protested the Christmas carol “Deck the Halls”. That line about Don and his gay apparel may offend some folks so perhaps we should delete this song from our playlist, too.

Christmas is a time of joy, yet as we walk down the aisles in Walmart, we are reminded of the horrific demise of our friend, Frosty the Snowman. Oh, the good die young.

What about “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”? Did you know over 200 people die each year from accidents with deer? I don’t know how many of these 200 poor souls were grandmothers, but gosh, do we need to rub salt in the wound of some sad little kid?

As we age, some of us get a little hard of hearing. I don’t appreciate the song “Do You Hear What I Hear?” It’s bad enough being questioned about my hearing deficit all year long. Do I have to hear it on Christmas Day, too?

All y’all know about those dang Yankees who are trying to erase history and do away with everything related to the Confederacy. I love the song “Christmas in Dixie” by Alabama. It’s such a pretty song, but I worry that it will get tossed into the trash like “Dixie” was a couple of years ago.

I love Christmas music, and I have a rather lengthy playlist that I’ll share with y’all on Spotify. But if one of my songs offends you, just turn it off and have yourself a Silent Night.  I wish y’all all a Merry Christmas and a bit of advice. As you are sipping your egg nog on Christmas Eve, step back from the fire pit.

If you want to hear some really good Christmas music, just stop by the Crow’s Nest after Mr. Younts has had a few long necks. Yodaling like you wouldn’t believe.

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