How long until election day?

As the hammers swing away at this week’s Hays Free Press, our President is expected to hit the airwaves to try and fearmonger our government into funding a fabled border wall.

Yes, that wall. The one he promised Mexico would pay for. The one he champions as the end-all, be-all solution to a fabricated “crisis” along a Texas border that seemingly moved to San Antonio in recent weeks. 

And here I thought the stars and stripes won Texas during the Mexican-American war. Silly me.

According to reports, Tuesday’s State of the Union address is expected to focus on more bipartisan issues. Stuff like healthcare and the economy.

I’ll believe it when I hear it.

It’s hard to imagine our President trying to bridge the aisle when he poured the gasoline and lit the match to burn the damn thing in the first place.

This also coming from a leader who continues to spew vitriol and harmful rhetoric the same way a broken fire hydrant expels water. Lord knows it ain’t gonna stop anytime soon.

Realistically speaking, we all should take our president’s SOTU address with an IV of saline solution, a salt lick and a chaser of iodine tablets. It could be comedy of errors or a flood of “alternative facts.”

It probably will be an exercise in trying not to awkwardly scream in anger at the TV with family and friends in earshot. Hey, at least our President will generate a response that the Stupor Bowl couldn’t live up to. 

The wall will be talked about. The wall will probably be a big point of focus.

Building a wall, however, isn’t going to fix the issue. Try putting money into improving and overhauling our naturalization process first.

I’d like to believe we will all try to have a little fun in watching our nation’s future hang in the balance.

Placing prop bets on how many times the word “really” is used, or the exact moment our President’s advisors facepalm when he opts to go off script, might be a way some combat the SOTU stress. 

Hopefully everyone brings a few extra George Washington’s.

Buzzword bingo? Yes, indeed.

“Tremendous,” “Great,” “Terrible” are all words a teenager uses regularly, as does our President. Who knew?

If one was really adventurous, they would have thrown back a libation every time cameras adjusted their white balance for our Presidents totally natural orange skin tone.

Hopefully we all drink responsibly and come into work safely.

All kidding aside, Tuesday’s address isn’t likely to shift conventional wisdoms.

Republicans will blame the Democrats for the shutdown. Democrats will likely blame Republicans for the same thing.

Our President won’t take blame for holding hundreds of thousands of federal workers hostage and preventing them from getting their paychecks in order to fulfill a failed campaign promise.

And, as we all know, everyone will blame NFL officiating for Sunday’s smelly turd of a Super Bowl. Sorry Adam Lavine, but your tattoos and catchy cotton candy pop hits couldn’t save it.

Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints could have. Just saying.

Hopefully, our political leaders come around and find ways to work together in harmony.

At least until good ole’ Twitter thumbs fires up again.

How long until Election Day 2020 again?

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