If one stepped into a grocery or department store last week, chances are you got a first-hand look at a real-life fake emergency.

The cavalcade of bouquets, chocolates and stuffed animals hastily plucked off store shelves signified the realization that a last-minute Valentine’s Day gift is better than a one-way ticket to Couch-town.

A true emergency? Not in the slightest.

When it comes down to it, however, the “emergency” behind a late-game Valentine’s Day purchase still hol...