There are two reasons I live here in the Buda/Kyle area. Mainly because I live on a small ranch that’s been in our family for several generations, and secondly, I did not want to live in the big city just north of here where it is plumb weird and the citizens want to keep it that way. Buda and Kyle used to be small Texas towns, but both towns have evolved into citified suburbs of Austin. We have numerous subdivisions, horrific traffic and overcrowded schools, but it also appears some of the idiotic stuff the Austin city council does has oozed down into the city of Kyle.
Due to the constant desire to eradicate all American history that occurred in the 1860s, members of Kyle’s city government have decided to rename Rebel Road because, God forbid, the name might offend someone who doesn’t realize the Civil War ended in 1865. Okay, thanks to the KKK and some depilated racists, we had to get rid of the Confederate flag, and then “Dixie” became offensive, leaving the band at Hays High School to come up with some new fight song to play at the games of the Hays Football Team, once known as the mighty Rebels.
So now, what name do the profound minds in the city council come up with to replace Rebel Road? Fajita Drive. Oh, yeah, you read that right. Of all the possible street names available, this road gets named after a dang taco. Don’t get me wrong, I love fajitas. I’ve eaten them ever since the early 1980s when a friend grilled up some marinated flank steak. Just writing about fajitas has caused me to wipe drool of my keyboard several times.
By naming a street after a delicious fajita taco, I’m afraid there may be some local residents who simply don’t like fajitas. Or perhaps fajitas cause painful acid reflux and they are reminded of trips to an ER believing they are suffering a heart attack. These sensitive Tums-popping residents might find the new name offensive.
Other residents might prefer a different entrée when they go to a Mexican food restaurant. Should another street be named Tamale Turnpike or Burrito Boulevard? Lengua Lane has a nice ring to it. How about renaming the section of I-35 that runs through Kyle the Frijole Freeway?
Oh, wait, what about other ethnic food? We can’t neglect other residents of Kyle. Over on Center Street, there’s the Chinese restaurant East Buffet. How about changing Center Street to Chow Mein Street? Across the interstate, we could get a bucket of fried chicken on Popeye’s Parkway and pick up some dessert on Apple Pie Trail. If the city council is going to rename the streets after good vittles, then they should go whole hog.
The city of Kyle was founded in 1880. Lots of important folks lived there between then and now. Couldn’t the astute council members find at least one name in the history books to rename Rebel Road? Or the name of a native plant or critter? Armadillo Avenue sounds a lot better than Fajita Drive, I’ll tell you what. I’m guessing the evening the council was sitting around debating what to call the road, somebody’s stomach growled and he said, “I’ve got a hankerin’ for fajitas”. How else does such an inane suggestion for a street name pop up in a government assemblage?
I understand there’s a petition going around asking to rename Fajita Drive to something that doesn’t sound like it intersects Sesame Street. If the city council had just asked the residents of Kyle for their opinion, I doubt we’d be having this discussion, but those elected officials thought it was a fine choice and ordered up new street signs. If you ask me, I think a more appropriate name for that street would be Birdbrain Bureaucrat Boulevard.
Clint Younts loves his fajitas. We wonder if he would like a street named after him? That might be called Goofy Grove.