There are many wonderful smells we’ve been missing out on due to self-isolation. Like the mouth-watering aroma of a brisket in a smoker or the delectable fragrance of a platter of sizzling fajitas? There are many aromas that we can identify because they are imbedded in some region of our brain that apparently is not affected by age or heavy alcohol consumption. Real quick, if you were blindfolded, could you identify a rose by sniffing one? Or fried chicken?
Yep, there are numerous aromas that we love and we may always be able to recognize those smells. Unfortunately, there are also some smells that we wish we could delete from our memory bank. Like the smell of a skunked dog. When ol’ Rover comes back in from his evening pee, there’s no question if he got sprayed by a skunk. I doubt many pet owners would say, “Hmm, what is that peculiar fragrance?”
All y’all know the obvious stench coming from trashcans or backed-up plumbing, but believe me, there are many more smells that you don’t want travelling up your nostrils. Since I have had so many encounters with foul odors in my life, I thought I might share a few with y’all.
Most of y’all know the smell of burnt popcorn in a microwave. That odor is nothing compared to the stench of nuking a live scorpion. Yep, I did it once, and my Hot Pockets still taste funny.
How about that smell of a junior high boys’ locker room after 5 days of stuffing sweaty clothes in a locker? I’m sure moms have whiffed that same smell when they opened those gym bags on Saturday.
Personally, the aroma of cow manure doesn’t bother me, but the pungent fumes from chicken poop makes my eyes water and singes my nose hairs.
I don’t like the smell of boiled cabbage. Strangely enough, I love sauerkraut. I just don’t appreciate the odors emanating from it before and after dinner, if you catch my drift.
Who else has gone hog hunting in total darkness and got a whiff of a wild boar nearby? That stench will have your finger on the trigger and your eyes wide open.
Who has squished a stink bug with your shoe? Talk about a nasty stink! And that smell will linger on your PF Flyers for a few days.
Remember coming in from recess back in the 3rd grade and near the drinking fountain, there’s a pool of vomit covered with sawdust? That’s a smell you don’t forget.
Have y’all even gotten in a slow-moving elevator with a woman holding a cute baby, only to discover the little lad had just dropped a load that could disperse a mob of protesters faster than tear gas?
Opening your meat freezer and discovering some rodent has chewed through the power cord. Not only do you have a freezer full of rancid meat, but there’s a smelly charred critter behind it.
Have any of you broken some appendage and worn a cast for 6 weeks? Remember the smell after the doctor cut off the cast? Imagine breaking your hand punching a pig that wouldn’t go into the trailer, and that cast covered a mixture of pig manure and sweat. I had to push my bed against the wall and sleep with my arm out the window.
Some dogs develop food allergies and have to eat diets made of novel proteins. If you ever step in dog poop that came from a mastiff eating kangaroo meat, you’ll be driving home from the vet clinic with your shoe tied to the trailer hitch.
There’s that stench from a skunk, and then there’s the stink from a dead critter, but when you find a decomposing skunk under your house, that is possibly the worst smell imaginable.
Oh, the smell of hair salons is plumb awful. I don’t know what chemicals are used there, but I think the Germans used them in World War I. Back in the ‘80s, my wife would get a perm. For a couple of nights, I had to spin our bed around and sleep with my head out the window.
Clint Younts is a regular contributor who ranches in the Kyle-Buda area. As for how good his sniffer works after all these years of cow-poking? Only his wife can tell us, but he certainly can smell when dinner is ready.