Ranting in the rain

By Clint Younts

Well, it’s raining here today. S’posed to rain all day, but I’m not complaining. With all these new homes being built over our dwindling aquifer, we need all the rain we can get. I’m still a tad confused about the massive construction in a neighborhood that has water restrictions 11 months out of the year. I reckon that’s why most of those lovely homes have butt-ugly lawns.

So, with all this beneficial rain falling on my recently strewn ryegrass seed, I’m stuck inside looking for something to do that doesn’t include Comet and a scrub brush. I got on Facebook for a little bit, but there are just too many ads and posts by imbeciles who wouldn’t recognize the truth if it bit them on the nose. 

Is it just me or are there really that many brainless people out there? If they aren’t protesting vaccine mandates, they’re shouting some sophomoric phrase about Brandon. I don’t know who this Brandon fella is, but I know what the phrase is supposed to mean. Sounds like something some middle school boys would come up with, yet I see numerous Facebook posts with this phrase from grown men with the apparent intellect of a doodlebug. Sometimes I’ll click to see their profile to see what they look like, and I’m not one bit surprised at what I see. Most of them look like those hillbillies in Deliverance.

Most of y’all who regularly read my column know how I stand about the Covid vaccine. I recently received my third vaccine, and for the record, I had zero side effects from any of the shots. No fever, malaise or weird illnesses. My hair hasn’t fallen out and I haven’t grown a third nipple. Sure, something could occur in the future, like getting more gray hair or developing arthritis in joints not currently inflicted. And I expect in another 30 or 40 years, I might die, and some ignoramus will claim the vaccine caused my demise. 

I can’t believe all the hogwash I see posted on Facebook about the vaccines. Maybe when Mark Zuckerberg replaces Facebook with his new and presently unnamed social media platform, he’ll cull out all the cretins who like to spread horse manure across the internet. And while he’s at it, ban all political diatribes that cover his website like splattered bugs on windshields in South Texas. 

Speaking of media, who saw Lester Holt broadcasting from Austin the other day? He was standing in front of the Austin skyline talking about big businesses and a mess of people moving to our capital city. He chatted with Elon Musk and some family that just moved here from California. What he didn’t show were the tents of the homeless people or the jam-packed parking lot we call I-35. No mention of the rise in crime due to budget cuts in the police department. Instead of building a wall along the Rio Grande, can we get one that runs along the Hays-Travis county line? 

It’s still raining and the bathtub still needs cleaning so I’m going to rant a bit longer. Why are new restaurants and retail stores being built around here when there aren’t people wanting to work anymore? Every restaurant I’ve gone to lately (yes I eat inside because I’m vaccinated) has signs on the door that sadly reports they are understaffed and service may be slow. Just about every store I go to have Help Wanted signs taped to every door. Recently I was at Home Depot who will hire anyone who wants to work, and there was a lady in the parking lot begging customers for money. 

Can someone other than those Cheetos-munching, web-surfing buffoons suffering from cranial vacuity and testicular torsion explain to me why so many Americans have gotten so angry, ignorant and lazy? While you’re trying to come up with a sensible answer, I’ll be in the bathroom with my trusty scrub brush, waiting for the rain to stop. 

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