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Ain’t nuthin’ better

By Clint Younts

Most of us watched the Final Four and saw Kansas win, but were they really the best team? Remember the Chiefs-Bills overtime game back in January? Was there really a winner besides us football fans?  Such close games, often determined by one mistake or a bad call by a blind referee, don’t really tell us which team is better. And in life, some folks have a hard time choosing what they like and if there’s something better. Like Kim Kardashian’s choice in husbands.

Now I don’t have trouble deciding what’s best. Okay, I seesaw back and forth deciding what’s my favorite beer. I’ve been trying hard to decide which is the best. I’ve got it narrowed down to 20, but I plan to work on this problem this weekend. Other than that, I have a list of what’re the best things in life.

There’s nothing better than the first bite of a perfectly grilled T-bone steak.

What’s more beautiful than a Texas hillside covered in bluebonnets?

I can’t think of anything more relaxing than sitting on the beach in Port Aransas.

Ain’t nothin’ better than that first sip of a cold beer after finishing yard work.

There’s nothing more satisfying than finishing a NY Times crossword puzzle without having to Google for an answer.

Some of y’all might agree with me when I say there’s nothing more fun than playing with the grandkids at the beach.

My favorite pair of jeans is the ones that fit me just right. Unfortunately, those are the same ones that cause my wife to say, “You need to change your pants before we go to dinner”.

There’s no better smelling retail store than a boot shop.

There’s nothing I enjoy hearing more than the roar of the ocean, the chatter of sea gulls and the words “Who wants a margarita?”

Nothing smells better than a brisket in a smoker. A close second would be a sizzling platter of beef fajitas as it’s placed on your table.

What’s more exhilarating than going outside one night to take a leak and see a huge feral hog over by the tool shed?

Who doesn’t love sitting on the back deck, enjoying a cool breeze and an ice cold beer?

There are a few things that I love but can’t quite decide which is best. Like a beautiful sunrise off the coast of Padre Island or an amazing west Texas sunset.

Nothing tastes better than a freshly baked apple pie. Or maybe a cherry pie. Or pecan? Coconut cream? Aw, heck, pert near every pie tastes good.

I’ve got many more favorite things, but there’s also a short list of things I really dislike. For example, nothing chaps my hide worse than some telemarketer calling me while I have a mouthful of Hot Pocket and working on a NY Times crossword puzzle.

Ain’t nothing sadder than seeing an ugly apartment complex sitting on land that used to be covered with majestic oak trees and Texas wildflowers.

There’s nothing hotter than a tin roof in late July, unless it’s the barrel of a rifle after shootin’ a mess of hogs.

Personally, nothing irritates me more than hearing some recently imported Californian complaining about the cold Texas winter and two days later complain about the heat.

There’s no place spookier than the old cemetery in Terlingua. 

There’s nothing sharper than a new strand of Red Brand barb wire, and I have scars to prove it.

There’s nothing more embarrassing than sitting in a crowded hot tub, seeing bubbles appear next to you, and everyone knows the jets are turned off.

There’s not much more irritating than coming up on a bunch of bicyclists hogging the road when you are trying to get home from that sketchy taqueria on the edge of town.

So, those are some of the best and worse things in my life. Some of y’all might agree with my choices, and some might not. Who knows, I might decide on something better next week, but one thing I’m sure of is there’s no place in the world I’d rather live than right here in Texas.

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