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Scratching My Head

By Clint Younts

Some of y’all who religiously read this column might think I’ve got all the answers to the many mysteries of life. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but there are times I see or hear something that makes me scratch my head and say, “What the heck were they thinking?” Like seeing some abstract paintings sell for millions of dollars, and it strongly resembles the artwork doting grandmothers stick on the side of their refrigerators. 

I often scratch my head in total confusion when I see some young fella with tattoos plastered all over his head and metal objects piercing all facial features. Does he think this “skin art” is attractive? Perhaps I should contact Kim Kardashian and get her opinion.

As I read about how much warmer Austin has gotten over the past few years than the rest of Texas, I scratch my head and wonder if the data for this research was collected while the legislature was in session. 

Am I the only person not shocked at seeing Will Smith rattle Chris Rock’s cage after the obnoxious host insulted Will’s wife? Dang, this happens in honkytonks all over Texas every Saturday night and you don’t see Savannah and Hoda talk about it for an entire week.

I scratch my head when I see a sign reading a subdivision is already in Stage Two water restrictions. What’s mind-boggling is the sign is posted in a new subdivision that has hundreds of homes and apartment buildings under construction.

Why are the residents of large cities who were once demanding to defund the police now complaining about the rise in crime? It’s like getting the city to remove a fire hydrant in your neighborhood and then complaining that your house burned down.

I often scratch my head when I drive by new subdivisions with homes lined up like houses on a Monopoly board and backyards with insufficient room to bury your pet parakeet. A kid can’t play lawn darts without the risk of impaling the old guy mowing his yard 4 houses down the street.

I still scratch my head when I see yet another apartment complex popping up in Kyle. Just how many apartments do they need there? And if you think they’re for all the young folks who can’t afford a house, y’all should check out the rent in these places.

I scratch my head and think, “Didn’t I wash my truck yesterday?” when I see my white Silverado is once again a yellow Silverado. 

If my back stops hurting after drinking two beers in the afternoon, should I start drinking at 10 a.m. instead? I’m asking for a friend.

After watching the CMT Awards show recently, I was really wondering if the producers know the CM stands for Country Music. I heard stuff that was as country as a New York subway token.

I always scratch my head and wonder “What were they thinking?” when I see so many shade trees being cut down and grasslands being covered with concrete and asphalt. Then I think about it again when I hear the new residents ask, “Why is it so hot here?”

My young grandson recently watched Rocky for the first time. I’m scratching my head trying to think when the last time Hollywood made a really great movie was. Probably Saving Private Ryan .

Well, if I keep scratching my head, I’ll have a funny-looking bald spot, so I think I’ll end my column here and go receive treatment on my aching back.

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