As we near the new year, everyone will be setting their goals, whether it be going to the gym, focusing more on self-care or getting a promotion at work. I have a lot of goals, too, but reflecting on this past year, I have one that will follow me into 2024 — growth.

I’ll be honest, I could go into a lot of things that I completely fell short in this year, but it would be a long list. Though, I can’t be completely negative about this past year. In fact, I’ve accomplished a lot of things I’m proud of in my career. It’s just that, as for my personal life, I feel like I’m failing a bit.

Sometimes, on days like this, when it’s really hard and everything feels like it’s against me, I try to remember that growth isn’t always about finding fault with yourself. Sometimes it’s about giving yourself grace.

I’ve not had the best past when it comes to mental health; I’ve had my fair share of diagnoses and trauma and I beat myself up worse than anyone else could ever do to me. So, being kind to myself is a difficult task. It’s hard to be understanding with yourself when you don’t always know what’s wrong or how you messed up.

This is why, when you are trying to grow, it’s important to surround yourself with supportive individuals. People that are okay when you slip or fall because it’s never linear. That’s not some profound statement — everyone’s heard of that — but when you’re experiencing it, it doesn’t feel like having ups and downs is acceptable. Because of that, it’s incredibly easy to get stuck inside your head and drown in your negative thoughts. And as someone who frequently escapes the world inside their head, it’s sometimes hard to leave, even when it turns sour.

I’ve had those people who constantly judge and assume, instead of asking and trying to help and the difference it can make on you is astounding. If you’re that supportive person for someone, make sure to remind the individual that growth starts with themselves and they should never begin to worry about how someone else feels about it because it’s not always obvious.

The world judges each person and determines their success on what they can see. You’re going to the gym and feel healthier? Oh, but it doesn’t seem like you’ve lost weight. You’re reading more books and educating yourself? You don’t sound smarter. You’re trying to be a better person? I can’t tell. Who decided that that was the only way to dictate progress? You can grow internally, too. Maybe you’re learning to trust others or you’re being nicer to yourself. Maybe you’re treating yourself to new clothes more often or you’re working through trauma. Everyone will not always see the progress you’re making — emphasis on the -ING because its an ongoing process, not a one- and-done thing — and that’s something I’m trying to learn, as well.

I want to be a better person in 2024. I want to reach my fullest potential and make myself proud, but I’m going to do it while being as understanding to myself as I am to others.

Kelley is a reporter for the Hays Free Press/News-Dispatch. She can be reached at brittanyk@haysfreepress.com.